Resolutions Smelloutions

I usually have all my ducks in a row way before new years rolls around. Something along the lines of a huge list of things I want to accomplish in detail and a super positive attitude that it's gonna happen. However the 2013-2014 transition has me fumbling a bit and surprisingly a little unmotivated to make any resolutions. 

Looking back at my resolutions from last year really kinda killed it for me because nothing was 100% accomplished. I know I had a baby but I would have thought I could have been more productive. So I kinda been going through a slump. I have changed my hair at least 4 times in the past couple of months in hopes of renewing my self and motivation but I still wasn't satisfied. I find myself constantly trying to diagnose my problem and still yet haven't found an answer. I am also now a bit scared to make any promises to myself for 2014 in fear that it may jinx the results. 

My 2014 is going to be filled with a lot of hard work and I am determined to get myself and my little family a home built, another vehicle and a real studio space. I'm determined to make the best life for my baby. So it's hard for me to focus on anything else right now besides this. At the same time I want to focus on enjoying every moment, not feeling pressured, and making my body my temple.

I think what makes it scary and depressing is when you know you want a certain thing soooo bad to happen. Especially when you feel like you have been waiting, praying and wishing it would happen for some time. I know I'm not the only one that feels this way but I know I need to re channel my thoughts and be POSITIVE. 

My older sister came over today and we were talking about resolutions and she suggested to pick a word and focus on that. I told her I had no idea what word would work for me when I am surrounded by all these crazy feelings and you know what I think after writing this post I just figured it out. 

POSITIVE

 pos·i·tive  (pz-tv)

adj.

1. Characterized by or displaying certainty, acceptance, or affirmation: a positive answer; positive criticism.

2. Measured or moving forward or in a direction of increase or progress.

3. Explicitly or openly expressed or laid down: a positive demand.

4. Admitting of no doubt; irrefutable: positive proof.

5.

a. Very sure; confident: I'm positive he's right. See Synonyms at sure.

b. Overconfident; dogmatic.