3/17/2013

I'm Back!



So happy to finally tell you that I am back to regularly blogging after almost a month of a much needed personal break. I didn't really want to take the break but I looked at my life and realized that because of the situations in my life I wouldn't be one pleasant blog to read. Plus! I worked so hard figuring out how to make the pretty new layout you are now experiencing!

The great thing is I was able to take time preparing and "nesting" for spring! I'm less than 4 months away from bringing a sweet little Girl into this world! That's right I said GIRL! So happy and excited to be having her in my life!

I made some pretty difficult decisions lately... one of those being moving from our big apartment back to a room at my moms by myself. That was a hard one to swallow but I really had to look at what was best for my little one at the moment. She could have a nice big room all to herself at the old apartment and we could struggle with bills forever or I step back look at my life and give up some of my stuff in order to save money for a better life. I also wanted to make sure she has a loving, peaceful life to begin in.

My relationship with Justin has struggled... man I hate typing that. No one wants to admit that. I guess we love too passionately. We fight with passion we don't just give up and that's what scares me. I don't want our little girl to sit through that and listen to it. We need to be peaceful for her. So were taking some time apart in order to get back to our roots and relearn what we forgot about in our relationship. I can already tell it's helping but I'm not 100% sure about where this will lead our little family in the future.

I guess I am not the average girl I thought I was going to be which surprises me. I guess you don't really grasp the relationships you have until someone (else) you  love enters the picture.... in this case my little girl. I can't think of anything but her now. My ridiculous amount of stuff I moved, my internet life, my relationship with Justin, my big apartment, my business, my blog, everything means nothing compared to her. It's really hard to explain. I just want to set up an environment with her where I know there will be lots of love, less stress, and most importantly bonding time with mommy!

I truly debated on whether to mention the move on my blog or not. I could always lie and act like everything is still perfect but than I realized my life really isn't that big of a deal that I would need to lie. I need to stay true even if it hurts, I need to look back, read this, and remember.

I'm excited to be stress free and happy again after a month of heartbreak. I'm super excited for spring,  my growing belly, summer, and taking this time for myself to enjoy life. I want to get back into taking beautiful pictures of my life and sharing them with you. I want to get back to creating beautiful unique products for my shop. I want to get back to being creative because it's what I live to do. The Two most important things in my life right now are having a loved little one and a happy  soul. That's it.

19 comments:

  1. <3 thank you for sharing. thank you for being courageous. may peace and strength be with you. btw, love the new look! I am excited to look through everything!

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    1. Thanks Em that really makes me feel like the work and emotions I put into this blog is worth it! :)

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  2. peace be with you in all your choices.

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    1. that is definitely the deciding factor in all my choices! Thanks Willow!

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  3. Everyone needs a time to go inward, to recoup and restore and do away with what no longer serves us so that we can welcome in new growth. Congratulations, just 4 months away! That is such a wonderful thing to look forward to. You have much to be proud of, keep letting your little light shine brightly. <3

    Love & Light~

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement! I really did need that time even though it was hard to make that choice, sometimes you feel like you have to keep pushing yourself in rough times but really the best medicine is to just breathe. :)

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  4. So glad you are back and I LOVE the layout! I'm sorry to hear about the bad stuff but it sounds like you are doing well despite the road bumps! You look beautiful with that little bump of yours and I'm so excited to hear you are having a girl! Yay! I think moving in with your mom was a wise choice. Once that baby comes, you will be mighty happy about it! I lived with my mom for the first month after my daughter was born and she was a tremendous help and comfort for me while I was trying to figure out the whole mom thing. And not having to pay bills will be great ;)

    I hope you work things out with your baby daddy. Just remember, you are strong and beautiful. I believe in you and I think you will make a wonderful mom. Can't wait to see that little girl!! And welcome back (:

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    1. Thanks Sam! This comment means so much to me right now. I am the first to experience having a child among my sisters so it's hard not having anyone to look at and say is this right? I know my mom and little sister will be able to provide the love and patience I need right now. I guess the hardest part was making the decision without anyone fully understanding what I am feeling. It's nice to hear that from someone who has been there. Thanks again... I am so glad to be back :)

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  5. Im a new follower and love this post, last year I had to do the same, move back to mamas. It was sad but it all worked out in the end. Everything is great again and me and my husband have worked on our relationship a ton! So I say all that to say this, it'll get better!! Such a cute layout too!

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    1. That makes me feel good! Trying to stay positive! thank you!

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  6. http://meetthebrowns20.blogspot.com/

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  7. So gald you're back. Sounds like the break was good to you. I'm also impressed with you moving back home and taking a step back with your relationship. Most people wouldn't admit those things but seriously, you're doing what you feel is right for you and your baby. Hope the next few months are good to you! Stay positive. :]

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    1. thanks angel! :) it was hard to admit but I guess that is part of the reason I decided to start blogging. Thanks for the encouragement! I love my blog friends... so happy to be back!

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  8. Glad to hear that you are alright! I wondered what had happened when I floated by one day looking for more sketching inspiration ;) and your blog wasn't viewable.

    Best wishes for smooth sailing these next four months until the little lady enters this world. Living without rent for a bit will be a great burden off of the financial mind. I often miss it myself. And may you re-discover what you've lost in your relationship. Men, I tell you...can't live with them, or without them. :) My relationship's a whole other kind of crazy...long distance (I'm talking across the Atlantic long distance) for 7 years this July.

    Keep the creativity coming. The new blog layout is lovely. :)

    All the best,

    -Emily
    http://creativecurrentsandeverydayadventures.blogspot.com/

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    1. lol this made me smile... you are sure right about men. At this point I feel like I could be without him for a while after 6 years of seeing each other every day and both of us being home. I guess the best time is before baby has to wonder whats going on. I couldn't imagine a long distance relationship for that long but I would honestly feel like I would want to try it. Seems like it would keep things interesting and keep you missing each other which would make you appreciate each other more. This month has already been a much calmer improvement... I feel like I can begin to focus again on whats important! Thanks so much for the sweet meaningful comment :)

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  9. so, so glad you're back. i missed you! i've always felt that you were so wise for someone so young and it sounds like you've made some smart decisions including the break from blogging for a while. it's kind of amazing how being pregnant brings things into focus. i wish your little family much love and happiness! and the new design? awesome.

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    1. Thank you thank you thank you! Pregnancy has definitely made things totally different for me and my thought process. It's almost as crazy as pms but makes more sense lol I'm sure you know this! ;) Glad to be back!

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  10. I just have to follow up that I had to have a really hard conversation with my love a few days ago. While I was preparing myself for it, I was thinking about the courage you had to express what you needed and wanted. thank you for example. I hope more than anything that you and him can work things out. Maybe this is just what you two need, and when your little girl is born, it will all come together.

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    1. That's good to hear. If there is one thing I wanted out of this (me telling you all) it's that woman shouldn't feel like they have to keep something together when it's not working because of a situation like a baby. Most relationships and marriages in my family felt like they had to keep their family in the same home to make it right for the kids. My opinion is why? Yes I want the father figure in my child's life but I want us to get along so if we do that better apart for now maybe that is what's best. :)

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