WILD STYLE : ULTRA VIOLENCE

Guess what?! I am flat broke.... and have been for a while. I don't have money to go splurge on some new clothes so you know what I did... I made it work. I have had all these really cute patches for a while so I decided finally to spruce up my jean jacket with them. I have always envied heavily patched up jackets. I remember going to a party and a guy left his jacket in a bedroom and I stood there and stared at it forever.... it was covered in glorious patches! I even thought about snatching it up or maybe finding this guy and seeing if maybe I might be able to convince him to let me wear it because you know... I was cold (wink wink). Neither of those things happened but sometimes just day dreaming about it is just as exciting lol.

Besides that I also don't have the money to buy some fancy blue lipstick cause you know the 90's are back and crazy colored lipstick is now "cool" again. well maybe. Either way I just dug in my old make up pulled out some blue eyeliner, blue eye shadow and vaseline.... bada bing bada boom blue lips and it worked great! I am not the best at lining my lips but that didn't stop me either. A girl has to get her color pop somewhere and I swear I am on the verge of dying my hair some crazy color again. I don't know whats stopping me... I guess the up keep. It's hard to keep a nice color in your hair when you have a trillion other things you are interested in doing. Maybe soon though.

I have to tell you I am on a positive high... still. I really have to say it has to be the hardcore workout buti class I take once a week. I feel good in my body... I have muscles I have never had before and I am accomplishing a lot. Can you tell... I mean I haven't done a wild style post in forever. I didn't realize it but I was so upset with my body image. I just looked sloppy. I get an outfit on look in the mirror and felt so uncomfortable and it always translated in any photos I took or had taken of me. Thank goodness my sister pushed me to try the hardcore class she has been taking forever. It has made a huge difference in life overall. Just saying if your feeling like I felt push yourself to do workout class that pushes your limits, face your fears and do it. Don't half ass it either. Do it till it burns, till you sweat buckets and you feel like your dying then push past all that and keep doing it! I haven't felt this good since highschool dance team lol! As stupid as that sounds!

As for everything else in life I want to say I am sad about Robin Williams. I understand that depression can be that serious it's just hard to believe coming from such a bright soul. I really don't want to believe it because in my head it's telling me that the disease wins... I question how he died and in the circumstances if he was an alcoholic and or drug user... I would think he would have overdosed if he was trying to commit suicide. That's usually how it goes at least from my perspective. It's just hard to believe that is how he died. I almost wonder if it could have possibly been set up. I know this sounds outrageous but think about it. Most of the time when a respected famous person dies they don't immediately tell you how... they usually keep it private for the sake of the family and his reputation but they just blasted it everywhere. Yeah we could say well it needs to be announced... we need awareness... but is this awareness really the good kind? I saw where kloe kardasian posted an image of genie saying your free... and to me this is horrible. It tells me your free when your dead and that the disease wins. That is sad and I get it the pain the suffering but how are we to know if any of this is true for sure. I just had to say this and I know some of you will disagree but in this world you think you know but reality is a totally different story even if a billion people are telling you otherwise. I hope his family gets some kind of closure I can't imagine how hard it would be to understand this if it is indeed true.

Ok sorry for too much info... good night!