So I can't sleep. I'm still thinking about her and randomly crying at the most unexpected of moments. It seems I miss her more each day. Last week seems like a dream to me now. It's just weird how things happen like that so unexpectedly and then they are over.
Everything I see reminds me of her. Yesterday I bought some caramel apples just because I remember my grandma always buying them when the season came. My grandma was always into paranormal things. She believed in ghosts and she was terrified of zombies but she loved dawn of the dead. The first time I watched a scary movie was with her and it was nightmare on elm street.
I feel like I need to write everything about my grandma down so I don't ever forget. I'm scared because I know with time we forget and that is why we feel better. I guess I just needed to get my thoughts down because I have no other option with it being almost 1 am... actually I use to have my gram in times like these to talk to.
During the funeral I didn't want to look at her, I didn't want to take any of the flowers, I didn't want to take pictures. I always have my camera with me but I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to capture such sad moments. However my sister did. Now I wish I had taken some.
Here is what she captured at the grave site of my grandma and my grandpa beside her. She had taken two perfectly clear pictures in between these of areas around the graves with no signs of light like this. Do I believe it? Yes I do.
The picture at the top was right outside the funeral home right at the end of the wake while somewhere over the rainbow was playing on the cd we had made for the wake. Do I think this is a sign? Yes I do. It was actually a double rainbow. This picture was taken on a cell phone but the rainbow was the brightest one I had ever seen.
Such a mixed up post... I am really just trying to get back into the swing of things.
PS Thanks for the sweet caring comments. They mean a lot.